Bolton,
If you finish this, frosty pints of beer, 3/4 pound grilled burgers with friend onions and cheese, a dill spear (kosher, cuz I know you like that sort of thing) and french fries with the skins still attached. On me. And really, when is the last time your heard a Dutchman was going to pay for a meal?
Keep your chin up, buddy!!
vanderlaan and the gangderlaan

Hi Chris and Sam- Julia's mom Trish here.

When Julia was going through her darkest days at the hospital I had to focus very short term. I remember thinking if she can make it through the next hour that's good. Time was finite and small. Can she make it through the night, a few hours in the morning. That kept me sane, just looking at the next 10 min, 30 min or hour instead of the whole picture. At that time the whole picture was too much too scary too hard to think about.

One pedal at a time. One hill at a time. One straight away.

graham jones

Skater, from all your friends on Team MacDaddy, get back on that ride. block out all negatives. focus. set small goals and reach them. sign-post-by-signpost.

we are behind you. and we know you can do this.

graham, Ruck, et al.

Chris and Sam,

It is Vicki from Creemore…hills! I’m drawn to follow your success because I love cycling and as you know I was a patient at Sick Kids Hospital back in 1975. I ride alone in these hills and find riding alone very peaceful and rejuvenating. For me there is a parallel between cycling and my experience of getting through cancer treatment. But cycling is easier. Cycling alone reminds me of how I had to “refocus” my strength “alone” to get through Chemotherapy treatment. Riding in a group is different. In a group I push my body harder for the group. I’m going to attempt to give you some support from my home, as we could not hook up to set me up as one of your support crew.

- Chris, what you described in your June 14, 2007 blog brought back chemotherapy treatment memories. Your description: “The problem with how I was feeling yesterday was that there wasn't anything I could do about it. I couldn't pretend to be alright or keep up appearances. I lost all strength and faculty and had to be looked after like a baby is looked after.” That really sucks and sounds like chemo.

- Sam has it right: “ I didn't look after me”, you did not look after yourself.

- Chris you are on the right track: “The mark of an athlete, I read somewhere recently, is not the ability to focus but the ability to refocus.” I had chemotherapy for 18 months starting at the age of eight years. I felt like you described above on and off for a year and a half. The treatment program I had was a cycle of three drugs. Two made me vomit, feel hung over and dehydrated my little body, one drug did not. The cycle was as follows:
Drug 1- treatment on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday – made me vomit. Usually made the drive from Sick Kids to Georgetown before vomitting started and lasted 12 hours. I’d just start feeling better and then have to mentally prepare for the next treatment and 12 hours of what I knew was coming.
Drug 2 – treatment on Thursday, for four Thursdays in a row. Did not make me vomit. Yeah! This one I began to look forward to, out of my three choices.
Drug 3 – treatment on Thurday, two Thursdays per month. Made me the sickest, vomitting often before we reached the car in the parking lot of Sick Kids and lasted 24-48 hours.
Then back to drug 1 and repeat cycle for 18 months!

Did I want to quit Chemo treatment? All the time. In fact at the age of eight years I often proclaimed to my team of doctors and caregivers that I refused to continue. But my team of cargivers did not comply. I was not impressed.

How did I get through 18 months of this awful treatment cycle? I vividly recall the energy my eight year old mind had to use to “refocus” in between treatments. No one on my team could do that for me, only I could refocus my iner strength. It felt like I could only focus on one thing – survival. My mind literally got my body through the hell of the treatment. It still amazes me that I did this because no one told me how, it was literally a survival intinct as I had no other choice

So you must continue the SKRAAM ride. The kids at Sick Kids expect you to finish. It is your only choice. Just look after yourself and remember, “Less is more”. I don’t know if you feel the ride is a race and want to place in the top three, or a tour to nicely finish. If you are racing you may be asking your body constantly for more. If you view the ride as a tour, you can apply the “less is more” theory – ask for less and you will get more from yourself.

- Sam will want to preserve the ride as he has lived through cancer treatment, which does shift ones perspective on many things in life: “Melissa has surrounded Sam protectively and is trying to preserve this thing for him.” To Sam, the SKRAAM ride should mentally feel easier to deal with than cancer treatment and this perspective will get him to the end of the tour!

- Sam and Chris, you are two very different people and riders. Look after yourselves individually and you will then be able to support each other to achieve your common goal.

- Laying blame is a waste of time and accomplishes nothing good. Chris said, “The crew falls apart. People get nasty. Blame begins.” In the life of a cancer patient, can you imagine what the scene would look like if oncologists, patients and families focused on laying blame? Can you imagine the disastrous outcome? As I’m thinking out loud I realize that having any life threatening diseases is one of few experiences humans have where they pull together to help. There is no one to lay blame on. So pull together, be nice and lay no blame!

That is all for now. I expect to hear all about your triumphant completion of SKRAAM.
Good luck! Vicki

The Homefire back @ the office is burning bright for you as you fight this personal war. Don't worry about anything but you. Eat, drink, sleep, ride! The rest will take care of it self. Your actions (on the bike) and determination will be enough to make everyone else fall in line. You have already done what 99% of us could never do & we are proud of you. Keep Rolling!!!

Z,R,D,P

I don't think you are ready to stop yet, you are an athelete, you can ride 2 more hours, and 2 more after that, I never met Sam but it sounds like he can pull you through this until you are feeling better. GO!
John

Chris - I don't know you - but here it is mate, my heavy for you.

There is only one direction in life, forward. Don't look back. get on the horse and ride. We learn more of ourselves when we fall or fail than we ever do when we succeed. This is your time, grab it while its hot and embrace what you are about to teach yourself.

Its all possible and at your fingertips.

If in doubt, or dynamics are tense, think of sick kids visits and your purpose.